You are reading a post on Marriage from 2013/5773. You can also visit the latest Dvar Torah on Marriage

Dvar Torah on Marriage

Marriage 2013 / 5773 - Leave the House and Get Married Already!

17.07.2013 by

In parshat Bereishit 2:24 it says:"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one flesh".

These words were spoken by God when Adam first saw Eve and understood that this was it - this, as Adam put it,  is עצם מעצמי ובשר מבשרי - "bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh", this is the being whom I can love, and with whom I can complete himself, and be wholly human. At the time, Adam had no father and mother to leave, other than the God who had created him, and yet God felt it was neccessary to look beyond Adam, into the future, and address us, the children of Adam and Eve, and explain to us how this most basic of human interactions - the intimate relationship between and a man and a woman, which Adam just experienced - actually works.

Though it is naturaI, it is not simple. In order to make the leap of becoming one with another person, of becoming one flesh with another person - the ultimate expression of which is the birth of a child who is literally the flesh of the two of them made one - one must first leave his or her parents. One must first forge an independent, mature, adult identity. It is only once that has happened, only once we have become our own person, a separate individual, that we can successfully love and be one with another adult.  As important as our parents are to us all - and the Torah underscores this by including honoring our mother and father as one of the Ten Commandments - these verses in Bereshit are telling us that leaving our parents is as important as loving them. Becoming an adult, choosing a partner, and becoming a parent yourself, is a natural and desirable stage in honoring your parents, and following in their footsteps, by becoming, like them, a creator and sustainer of life. It takes an act of maturation, and seperation, to make us into the independent adults we need to be in order to truly be one with another independent adult.  

Marriage Overview


Marriage in Judaism is a value. God, the first match-maker, looked at Adam and said "it is not good for man to be alone", and created Eve. Since then, marriage has been seen as the natural, healthy state for men and women to be in, and the optimal framework for raising children. Although polygamy was practiced in most Jewish communties until about 1,000 years ago, when the Ashkenazi community forbade it,  much traditional literature seems to favor monogamy, and the Bible is full of stories of romantic love, as well as descriptions of the problems which typically ensue from polygamous marriages.

A marriage takes place when a man gives something of value to the woman - today we use a ring - as a token of their agreement to be married. The woman must consent, and willingly accept the object.  As this is a legally binding arrangement, two witnesses are needed to make the marriage official.

Previous Divrei Torah For Marriage
Get inspired by Marriage Divrei Torah from previous years

About Us

Every week, brings you a rich selection of material on parshat hashavua, the weekly portion traditionally read in synagogues all over the world. Using both classic and contemporary material, we take a look at these portions in a fresh way, relating them to both ancient Jewish concerns as well as cutting-edge modern issues and topics. We also bring you material on the Jewish holidays, as well as insights into life cycle rituals and events...

Read more on Parsha of the Week